Can we talk about selfishness for a minute? Great, thanks!
Selfishness is the attitude of being concerned with one’s own interests above the interests of others. See also selfish, self-absorbed, self-involved, egocentric, etc. Selfishness runs deep and is a heart issue.
What does this look like?
> Someone who always talks about themselves.
>Someone that builds themselves up by tearing others down.
> Someone who never takes the time to ask how you are doing, what you have going on in your life, if you need anything etc., (even though you always check in on them), but will be quick to ask for a favor that benefits them. (Which leads to...)
> Someone that will befriend you or keep you around just as long as it benefits them somehow. Once the benfits are gone, they are no where to be found.
> Someone who somehow makes everything about them.
> Someone who doesn't mind inconveniencing others as long as it is convenient for them.
> Someone that is so consumed with their own selves that they become oblivious to, nor do they care how their actions or words impact others.
> Someone that wants things to go their way even if it isn't what is best or the right thing to do.
Pay attention to these behaviors. If you are feeling like you are in a one-sided relationship, it's okay to bow out gracefully. Some people don't know how to think of anyone other than themselves. If they did, there would be no reason for Paul to command what he did in Philippians 2. Pray for them and love them from a distance. Don't feel obligated to continue giving of yourself, your time and your attention to people that do not do the same. You can love with boundaries. It's really okay. The ones that care, will notice and make change. The ones that don't... well, you are better off.
If you think that you may carry some of these traits, I commend you. The first step in overcoming something takes maturity in recognizing our need for deliverance and healing. We ought to pray and ask God to make us aware of where we might be demonstrating selfish behavior and to help us learn how to uproot those things that caused us to become that way in the first place.